Reading Perfect by Rachel Joyce

I read Rachel Joyce's book Perfect having never come across her writing before. I have had the The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry on the bedside pile for a while but Perfect appealed first, probably because of my mental health background.

I was born in the 1970's with a mum who had clinical and possible post-natal depression. There were long periods where mum was unhappy and found life very difficult. Bringing friends home was a struggle for her during my early childhood and we were aware that she became anxious in social situations. On the other hand mum was unusually imaginative and great fun to be around. She would join in with our games and fantasies entirely often joining in with dressing up, making dens and having make-believe adventures. I sure this experience with mum led to me working in our local mental health team for the past fifteen years and studying psychology. I am now in my final year of counsellor training and practice at my local MS Therapy Centre (I have MS and so did my late husband) as well as helping with mental health drop-in groups in my local town. I empathise enormously with anyone who is having difficulties because of some trauma or bereavement, but also with those people who can't manage 'normal' everyday life. These experiences and interests definitely persuaded me to read this book and I finished it in 24 hours.

Several of the characters in this book are either openly or secretly dealing with mental health problems. In the present day Jim is living in a van and cleaning tables in his local cafe. Jim is lonely and exhausted by the OCD rituals that have governed his life. Jim has had underlying mental ill health most of his life and the need to repeat small rituals 21 times has become his coping mechanism. Back in 1972 we meet Byron who lives in a small town on the edge of a moor. He and his sister, Lucy, go to private school because their father wants them to have the right start in life. All week they live in their big house with their mother in the country and his mum has a brand new Jaguar to drive them to school in the morning. Byron's father works in the city and only comes home on weekends arriving at the train station at the same time every week. Byron's father Seymour likes everything to be done correctly and often telephones home in the week to check on his wife Diana to make sure she is following the schedule and has no visitors. Seymour worries if anything appears to stray from their normal routine of getting up at the same time, dressing, eating, doing housework and then going to bed at 10pm and doing it all over again. Byron is fascinated with an article he has read in the newspaper that explains the how time is out of sync with the movement of the earth and the need to add two seconds to time. Byron constantly checks his watch in case he can capture the moment the two seconds are added. One morning, as they veer slightly from their normal schedule and Byron's watch seems to jump, they are involved in an accident that triggers 'Operation Perfect'. The operation is Byron and his schoolfriend's plan to monitor Diana and her new friend Beverley who is from the lower class Digby Road. Women like Diana did not socialise with women like Beverley and the friendship would never have happened without the accident and those two seconds.

As well as the obvious mental health problems of Jim, there are other characters in the book who struggle with their mental health and there are interesting differences between those who are open about their problems and those who are not. It is plain for all to see that Jim is not 'normal' because he struggles to speak, he lives in a van and he is isolated by his history of being a patient at Besley Hill mental home. How Byron's father, on the other hand, has serious mental health issues because of the way he treats his family but they his problems only appear in secret. His obsession with schedules and perfection impacts heavily on his family. Diana is nervous and completed isolated by his need for control. She is not allowed friends or a job and has to be a perfect middle class wife. Seymour is constantly worrying about what others might think, about whether his wife is seeing the wrong sort of people or whether she might be tempted into an affair. He places so much pressure on Byron expecting him to be a little man who watches his mother and does well at school. Byron must study hard, appear tidy and presentable and have the right sort of friends. Seymour imagines that Byron will be well educated, go to Oxbridge and become a professional. He wants his family to be perfect and they all keep their accident from him because of fear.

Diana is a nervous woman who is constantly vigilant for signs that she is failing her husband's very high standards. When she makes friends with Beverley it is so taboo that she has to remove every trace of her before Seymour comes home at the weekend. She pressures Byron to lie about who has been to the house and where the mysterious blank stubs have come from in the family cheque book. When Diana realises the implications of the accident she begins to come apart at the seams; her schedule falters, she begins to wear different clothes and appears unkempt. The closer Seymour comes to finding out her big mistake she starts to drink and not get out of bed. This causes even more pressure to be placed upon Byron who enlists his friend to help get the family out of this difficult situation without telling his father. His friend draws up 'Operation Perfect' and is on the end of the phone daily taking transcripts of conversations and making diagrams. Byron chooses this friend because he is so particular and seems to know so much about grown-up things. He is the one who talks to Byron about the two-seconds because he is interested in time, but he also likes to wonder about life and what is real; he reads articles on whether the moon landings were fakes and on time simply being a concept. He becomes drawn further and further into Byron's world and worries about Byron's beautiful but very fragile mother.

In the present day Jim is frightened of the bold and loud woman who cooks at the cafe. She is called Eileen and he is fascinated by her flame red hair and loud laugh. Eileen swears a lot, walks up the customer stairs instead of the staff stairs and generally ignores all the rules. When she is fired Jim is sorry he won't see her again but then another chance accident brings her back into his life. Whereas Jim has obvious problems Eileen's issues are hidden by her brazen attitude and loud personality. As he overcomes his fear to get to know her he finds that she is hiding a deep well of sadness that won't go away. Eileen's daughter went missing and never returned several years ago and this loss is very raw. Everyone has the wrong idea about her and Jim starts getting to know this softer side, that is so fragile it is never seen by others. The descriptions of Jim's past in Besley Hill where he suffered electric shock treatment for his breakdown and was abandoned by his family are heartbreaking.

This was an interesting book that was sad but hopeful too. It seems to say that we need to allow ourselves to be open even if we are frightened and hurting. It showed that even the most respectable person from the best family can suffer from mental health problems and how it can be passed from parent to child in many different ways. Seymour is so buttoned up because of the way he was treated by his own father, but instead of being open and asking for help he becomes cold and strict creating anxiety in his own son. I found the detail of how the character's felt very moving and realistic. The inner monologues were beautifully written and I was so attached to the character of Jim, probably because he reminds me of individuals I have worked with. Through Jim the author explores the idea that every person, no matter how different they seem, has the same hopes and dreams for their life as anyone else. It showed how subtle differences like money, class and control over those around you can keep people from seeing you as mentally ill. The very expectations we place upon people in society act as controls and deterrents against appearing different. Byron's school friends has one of the most insightful ideas when he explores the concept of time as a construct. It is good to remember sometimes that time was a concept dreamed up by men and that outside of time and other societal controls we still exist. Diana and Jim probably come closest to being free by understanding that all people are the same and by communing with nature either around the pond or for Jim out on the moor. On the moor concepts like time and schedules become meaningless because the moor is timeless and endless. Jim sits out there and feels the grass, feeling the wind and listening to the sounds of nature and feels more grounded and at one with the world than when he is at home and fenced in by societal expectation and the rituals he has had to create in order to cope with it.

Perfect is a very meaningful book disguised inside easily accessible characters and dialogue. I loved it and I will now be reading The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry before her new novel comes out.

The Fortune Hunter by Daisy Goodwin

I was lucky enough to be sent a pre-publication copy of The Fortune Hunter via Twitter. I had never read Daisy Goodwin's novels just her collections of poetry so this was a first for me and I was pleasantly surprised.

I like historical fiction and love the Victorian period particularly so what caught my imagination first were the historical details. I love clothes so the intricate descriptions of Victorian clothing for the women in the novel were very enjoyable. The detail of protocol was interesting too; when and where certain clothing was worn and the class hierarchy were all fascinating and accurate. In a world where the only detailed protocol we still use is probably at our weddings it is amazing to think that this is how the upper classes lived their everyday lives. Having studied Victorian art as well as literature I was fascinated with the details of the heroine Charlotte Baird's hobby of photography and then gradually I fell in love with Charlotte herself.


Charlotte is an heiress of the Lennox fortune and is a target for fortune hunters everywhere. Far from being the usual simpering Victorian heroine Charlotte is more of a bluestocking girl. She is educated and very intelligent. Instead of being caught up in the social whirlwind favoured by her brother and sister-in-law Charlotte does not much care for clothes, parties or the famous Lennox diamonds she owns but does care passionately for her hobby of photography. Meanwhile her brother and his wife engage in the social life she dislikes as the guardians of her fortune they live from the interest until Charlotte marries and takes the reins for herself (or more likely her husband does). At a party Charlotte meets the handsome and infamous Bay Middleton who is a horseman, hunter and famous playboy in his social set. They seem an unlikely match but Bay is drawn to Charlotte's quiet manner and intelligence. She is not a great beauty so those around her are very keen to protect her from what they see as fortune hunting. Yet Bay seems sincere about his fondness for Charlotte until a rival appears on the scene. It is not easy when your rival is the Empress of Austria.

Elizabeth (known as Sisi to close friends) was married when she was 16 to the Emperor of Austria. They had nothing in common but Eizabeth soon became known as one of the most beautiful and fashionable woman in 19th Century Europe. Her passion in life is riding and she arrives in England for the hunting season with a string of ponies and huge household. She cannot be rivalled in the hunting field but in England she does not know the terrain. Worried that she will lose her way or at worst, take a bad fall, it is suggested she should have a 'pilot'. A pilot is like a guardian who hunts alongside her, making sure she knows the way and getting her home safely. Bay Middleton is in a rest period before attempting his life's ambition to win the Grand National and he is suggested for the role with the Empress. On the day of the hunt and for their first glimpse of the royal visitor Charlotte has set up her camera. She aims to capture the hunt in all their glory and is also tempted to take a photo of the Empress who is renowned for her hatred of photographs. Sisi knows she is not the unmarked beauty she was ten years ago and is at great pains to salvage her complexion by swathing her face in veal during the night. Charlotte takes a shot which the Empress deflects by holding up her fan, but the photo shows something else; Bay's face shows his immediate and total enchantment with Sisi. The photograph has the potential to break Charlotte's heart.

This book has the ability to grab you and keep you reading. I started one day and read right through to finish the following night. I missed sleep to find out what would happen to Charlotte. The book has just enough detail to anchor you totally in the upper class Victorian circle depicted without bogging the reader down in swathes of description. It moved quickly and had me rooting for Charlotte all the way through because I felt a kinship with her; not quite beautiful, but patient, kind and modestly talented it is hard not to like her. By contrast Sisi is exposed as a frightened and spoiled woman who is used to getting what she wants without having to fight for it. She is worried about losing her looks and this is her main frailty. Sisi needs Bay in a way Charlotte does not; Sisi is fragile and melancholy and needs something to break the suffocating formality of her role whereas Charlotte, though heartbroken, has a plan to survive and live life her own way. I would say that the character of Bay loses out to the women in the novel. He is not as vividly drawn as the Empress and I didn't feel anything for him. I started to feel sorry for the Empress even as I disliked her and Charlotte infuriated me with the passive way she was dealing with Bay's obvious affair with the royal visitor. Despite being shamed publicly by Bay's behaviour she keeps her cool right up to the point of the exhibition at the academy and the displaying of that photograph. I won't reveal the end, only to say that I half wished to read about Charlotte's adventures as a photographer and pioneer in the USA!

The Missing One by Lucy Atkins

I have raced through the book over a couple of days because I was dying to find out what happened back in the 1970s to Elena and Susannah. A terrifying and traumatic event links these two women until the present day and it can’t stay a secret for ever. In the present is Elena’s daughter Kali, who has just lost her mother to breast cancer a mother she could never make sense of or bond with as she wanted.

Lucy Atkins

In the aftermath of Elena’s death, Kali is trying to make sense of her difficult relationship with her mother when she finds a hidden pile of postcards from a woman called Susannah in her mother’s things. Thinking she has found the clue to her mother’s past she pursues this woman to find out about events leading up to her birth and a family history that has resolutely stayed hidden. Driven forward by grief and the worry that her husband is having an affair Kali takes her son Finn on an odyssey to find her mother and herself. She has many theories about what she might find: maybe her father had an affair; maybe Susannah was his lover or her mother’s. Yet, what she finds is something she never suspected. Set against the backdrop of wild North America and Canada we learn about a woman’s quest to understand the Orca. Distressed by witnessing the killer whales at Seaworld in California while doing her PhD, a young Elena leaves everything to record killer whale pods in the ocean. The Seaworld orca gave birth to a calf that was so disorientated by his tiny tank he kept banging himself against the glass trying to navigate through echolocation. His desperate mother keeps pushing him away from the sides to protect him from damage, but in her efforts to protect she forgets to nurture and the calf dies because she has forgotten to feed him. Kali was similarly starved of nurturing by her mother because she was so intent instead on protecting her from this awful secret.

The novel is an incredible insight into relations between mothers and daughters. Kali’s sister Alice has a great relationship with her mother that seems easy, whereas Kali and Elena clash over everything. Kali sees that her mother finds her hard to nurture and believes it is her fault. It takes putting herself in danger to find out why and in finding out she also discovers that essential piece of the jigsaw that tells her who she is and grounds her in a history. The novel shows how when you become a mother it becomes more important than ever to know where you are from and how you belong. It also shows how the secrets of one generation have a huge impact on the next, even if the secret is kept with the best of intentions. The book cleverly shows the difference between generations since we have now moved into a world where we put our own lives on show for fun. In a world where counselling and therapy are becoming the norm it is no longer seen as acceptable to keep such huge secrets and we know as post-Freudians what effect those early years of parenting have on the adult we become.

Aside from the complex human relationships are the family ties within the Orca families. We see how there are resident pods and transient pods with different feeding habits and rules to abide by. It is also clear that parallels can be drawn between the whale relationships and the human ones. Elena is so moved by their mothering instincts and the possibilities to map their language and understand their emotions.  She gives up everything to spend as much time with them as she possibly can even going to sleep on her floathouse with the sounds of whales drifting up from a microphone in the water. I learned so much about these incredible creatures without losing the majesty of them and the awe a human being feels when a huge tail rises up out of the water next to their boat.

The book reads as a dissection of family relationships, a thriller, a study of whales and a study of grief. Grief causes Elena to suffer with depression throughout her life, grief traumatises Susannah to the extent that she is unbalanced by the things she has witnessed and it is grief that compels Kali to jump on a plane to Vancouver with nothing but a few postcards and the internet to go on. I struggled to put the novel down because of the thriller element. Like a good crime novel, you desperately want to know the truth of who- dunnit. Yet it is those final chapters I like best, after everything is resolved and each character is living in the aftermath of exposed secrets and recovery from physical and mental injury. The novel could have ended there and I am glad that it went further, back into Elena’s past so that we can see her happy on her floathouse making coffee and then hearing those whales come to greet her. As a widow of eight years I found those final words of Elena’s deeply moving:

She would go back to that throughout her life, right to the very end. But the last time, when the world had shrunken to the contours of her skin and she leaned over the railings, it wasn’t the whales that she saw in the water. And so she jumped.

It made me very hopeful for whoever might greet me when that time comes.

my missing one

Guilty Pleasures

I was asked a few weeks ago on Twitter what was my favourite beach read. I don't know the difference between a beach read and any other read; I guess it depends upon whether you want it to be relaxing or whether you like to be challenged with something meaty while lying on the beach. It depends what you do in your work time I guess. I read a few other answers before I replied and was interested to see a lot of beach reads described in the following terms; trashy, easy, throwaway, and 'airport' reads. I saw some described as 'guilty pleasures'.

I have heard this term applied to music, in fact I have a CD in the car marked as 'guilty treasures' and I use it to annoy my friend as we drive down to Cornwall. It is a fun mix of Girls Aloud, Kylie, Justin Timberlake, Britney, Christina Aguilera and other artists that drive her mad. It is not my usual listening. I certainly wouldn't buy a whole album of it. Yet, in the car and on holiday I sing a long to the pop and enjoy myself immensely. I feel the term had to be invented by people scared of being written off by music snobs. Those people who apparently see it as their God given right to criticise other people's musical taste and who go to concerts to nod and rub their chins a lot in a pseudo intellectual way. I think the term is being applied to literature in the same way and I don't like it. All reading is reading - apart from Fifty Shades of Grey which is an abomination to reading and feminism alike. It is a similar snobbery that labels some authors as chick-lit in my local WH Smiths. I am currently writing a whole blog on this so I won't go crazy here except to say that who decided that male writers have the position of being literary fiction and some women authors are relegated to chick-lit shelves where candy pink covers reign supreme never mind the contents. Some women authors - Jojo Moyes, Kate Morton, Adele Parks, Helen Fielding, Marian Keyes - are completely dumbed down by publishers, when I can't distinguish some of their novels from their so-called literary counterparts.

I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad because of what they read. I even defend your right to read Fifty Shades if you must. I think there is far too much snobbery in the literary world and if you are reading it, and enjoying then that's your business. I don't know why we have to define them as holiday reads or guilty pleasures before other people can accept our liking of them. I noticed so many 'beach reads' being presented in terms that are often used when we do the other thing we are not allowed to do anymore - eating cakes or chocolate. I read the phrases 'I'm often naughty with my summer reading', 'I'm going to splurge, binge, over do it' and even 'I read loads of literary fiction lately so I deserve it'. Who are these reading police that we're all sucking up to?

So for all of you scared, under the bedclothes, readers out there I am going to come out and say I read all sorts of novels defined as tacky, easy, trashy, junk and I really do enjoy them. I think it goes back to raiding my mother's book shelves for Judith Krantz or Shirley Conran novels. They were called 'bonkbusters' because of the sex, but also because of their size and that size is not due to being padded out with the same sex scene over and over again. There is a story and one or two strong female heroines between those trashy covers. I'm thinking of Lace where a girl is looking for her mother among a group of four friends who all have great jobs, great friendships and secrets in their past. Similarly Krantz's Scruples and the sequels centre around Billy Ikehorn who creates a huge women's fashion store and catalogue in LA. She works hard, gets married a lot and is a damn good read. Other heroines are either publishing magnates, advertising execs, directors, designers, writers or artists. They travel the world and meet incredibly different men and build strong bonds with other women that last a lifetime. They may be thought of as trashy but at least the women are ballsy and ambitious!

A later favourite, described as rollicking good romps, are the novels of Jilly Cooper. They may have wandered off a little lately but those early Rupert Campbell Black novels are glorious fun. The novels Riders, Rivals and Polo were introduced to me in sixth form and any book where nude tennis is being played is a must read to a 16 year old! Jilly Cooper is a great writer dismissed by critics completely but nonetheless incredibly popular. Riders introduces us to Rupert Campbell Black the devastatingly sexy show jumper from Rutshire (of course) and his exploits as he goes around the world showjumping for England. I learnt just as much about horses as I did about sex in these novels where the women play and work as hard as the men. of course it takes a completely subservient woman to tame RCB but I'll forgive her that. The books are witty, even hilarious in parts, with inventive sex scenes and interesting characters. Rivals moved into the world of television and a group bidding for a local TV franchise. Polo is probably the best of the three with its central character being the haughty but beautiful Perdita who was conceived at a 60's orgy and now wants to be a polo player. She has an incredible ability to ride and through her we see the glamorous world of the polo player from the Home Counties to Argentina, the Far East and Los Angeles. Perdita has to be as good if not better than the men and although she's a spoiled brat you can't help hoping she'll do it. Later books focus around the satanic conductor Ranaldini and we are taken into the world of the orchestra and making a film from an opera. Then Pandora takes us into the art world with Emerald who is the adopted daughter of a poor but middle class couple and is desperate to be part of the glamorous and wealthy art world. The book follows her trying to find her father and takes us through 1960's London art scene to the YBA era of Damien Hurst and Tracey Emin. All of her books are chunky, fun reads that you'll get through in a couple of days on holiday.

My holiday reading this year has veered between what would be considered more literary fiction such as Jessie Burton's The Miniaturist, to comic novels such as Caitlin Moran's How to Build a Girl, and Lucy Atkin's thriller The Missing One. I'm not sure we can define beach reading any more than we can define what is a guilty pleasure. Lets stop trying to intellectualise reading and just enjoy it,

Hateful Characters

Irritating Characters in Novels

The first character that comes to mind when I think of being irritated is obviously Mr Collins from Pride and Prejudice. Is there any woman alive who doesn’t pity poor Charlotte Lucas who seems to think that her only marriage choice is to take his proposal? We celebrate when Lizzie Bennet refuses him and then to hear that Charlotte has accepted him only 24 hours later is so sad. When we imagine her choices it is a very pragmatic and realistic choice for her, but all I can imagine is being suffocated in a small cottage with him fussing and being ridiculous. The thought of running around to please Lady Catherine De Bourgh and also listening to him sucking up is awful. When Lizzie visits later in the novel, we learn that Charlotte has found a way of living with him by encouraging him to garden and having her own parlour. I would need my own house and would encourage a different hobby – maybe something risky and reckless? I imagine him as a small, stuffy man with slightly greasy hair and a very picky manner. I see him at the table picking with food and reminding me of the scripture at every opportunity. I would commit murder if I had to live with him.

Another irritating character, but in an entirely different way, is the saintly cousin Helen in What Katy Did. I seem to have been brought up with girl’s fiction that involved a character’s period of illness. Of course it is always an illness that teaches something especially for young ladies. Pollyanna has a fall and learns she cannot walk and has to find the meaning in such an awful disability. She has always played ‘The Glad Game’, taught to her by her missionary parents where she has to find the good in every situation. Now she finds it very difficult to understand the lesson in her accident. Similarly Katy has an accident on the garden swing and is unable to walk. She is a very active tomboy of a girl and finds her immobility very difficult. Luckily she has the example of her saintly Cousin Helen. Helen has an illness that means she cannot walk and she has become this ridiculously perfect, religious, patient woman that Katy should be. Helen has found meaning in her illness and uses it to counsel others and be a saintly figure for other young women. She teaches Katy to become a young woman rather than the tomboy she was. Katy’s illness and Helen’s help allow her to be the replacement for her dead mother. Katy becomes a housekeeper and helps her father with the household and the younger children. Helen shows Katy what she should be a quiet, restrained and modest woman rather than the wild tomboy she was. I find this part of the book infuriating. I want to take Helen to the top of a steep hill and let go of her wheelchair. I would like Katy to recover and be the same girl she was, not some facsimile of a saintly walking cliche. It makes me even angrier now that I have my own disability. I want Cousin Helen to drop the odd swear word and be honest about her experience!

Last year I had the most peculiar experience of reading a novel where I hated every single character! I read The Slap for my book group and as it started and worked its way through the different characters points of view I was waiting for someone I could identify or agree with. The book went on and just when I thought I might be getting along with someone they did something that changed my mind. I have never had this reading experience before but I guess it is an honest and realistic way of looking at life. We all have flaws and this novel was consistent with that. There was no one person who stood out as a hero or heroine. I loved the story telling and the moral issue kept the entire reading group talking for hours, but every single character was either irritating or downright hateful! 

Finally, the weirdest reading experience is when you find the heroine of the book so irritating you actually like the villain of the piece. I was reminded of this yesterday on Twitter when I was reading the tweets for #bookadayuk. If you haven’t come across it, #bookadayuk is a list created by a publisher or book organisation that gives you a prompt every day of the month and gets everyone tweeting about books. It is a great way to get conversation flowing and also publicises some of their books. At the beginning of the week it was about heroes/heroines and anti-heroes/heroines and someone tweeted about Zoe Heller’s novel Notes on a Scandal. Sometimes when you’re tweeting it is easy to go blank and forget certain books but this one is a classic example of a really irritating heroine. Sheba is a teacher with children and a husband who becomes infatuated with a boy at her school. The novel is told in her eyes as we see how she is instantly attracted to him and starts an affair. It is interesting how this doesn’t seem such a breach of ethics and trust when you’re reading, but I found the film very uncomfortable viewing because the characters were visible and the age difference looked wrong. Cate Blanchett actually made this heroine seem interesting and engaging, but in the book Sheba seems to drift ethereally from home to a sexual relationship with a fifteen year old boy. It’s as if she’s living in a dream world simply not comprehending how wrong her actions are. It takes the villain of the piece, fellow teacher Barbara; to make it clear to her that what she is doing is wrong. Barbara is an evil wake-up call who says it like it is, a bored teacher having sex with a fifteen year old boy. Barbara takes action where Sheba seems to drift from one situation to the next without any thought for consequences in her marriage and with her children, or for the boy she is having the affair with. Barbara forces her to see it and blackmails her into take action and stop things before they go too far. She becomes obsessed with Sheba and very dangerous, but it is Barbara’s actions that sometimes seem saner than Sheba’s glassy eyed denial about the situation she’s in. What a great novel, but Sheba is completely beyond any understanding. She makes me want to shake her and I guess that makes me no different than the villain!