Daisy and Simon live in London, with their six year old daughter Millie and a close knit group of friends mainly formed from Daisy’s friends at university. They are soulmates. Where Park describes their early relationship I could see exactly the type of couple they started out as. They never stopped talking, to the extent of staying up late at night or even waking in the early hours finding they still had something to discuss. This reminded me of my partner of two years, because we’d recently been approached by a waitress three times in a restaurant only to realise we still hadn’t looked at the menu, because we were talking. Simon and Daisy would sometimes be hoarse from the hours spent wrapped up in conversation each other. At the start of the novel though, this relationship has become more fraught. After several years trying to conceive and going through IVF they finally had their daughter naturally. It took its toll on their relationship and now they’re slightly out of step with each other. Simon would like Millie to have a sibling but Daisy seems unsure. However, she has agreed to see a fertility specialist and unbeknownst to her Simon has decided to ease the process by going for a few tests himself to explore the problem before Daisy has to go undergo any more invasive procedures. They know his sperm count is low with poor motility but nothing can prepare Simon for the bombshell he is about to hear. Stepping in to the doctor’s office alone, while Daisy stays with their daughter, he is told that scientific advances mean tests are now much more accurate. Simon’s sperm count isn’t just low. It is non-existent. It always has been. While Simon struggles to comprehend what this means the doctor makes a suggestion. Maybe they could try donor sperm ‘like last time’. As the minutes tick by Simon can only come to one conclusion. Millie is not his biological daughter. Daisy has been lying to him for six years.
Unaware of what has passed, Daisy carries on with life as normal. Although she does notice a change in Simon. He has always liked a drink and she is aware that, as most of their gang slowed down after university, Simon never did. She has been embarrassed by neighbours thinking they’ve had a party as she puts out the empties for recycling. She knows he drinks and tends to use the term ‘functioning alcoholic’. Of late though, he has seemed a straightforward alcoholic. One night he is brought home by her friends husband Luke and she has to have help cleaning him up and putting him to bed. He has lost control of his bladder, fallen over, and arrives late to Millie’s ballet recital interrupting the performance by banging doors and swearing loudly. Daisy is aware that people are starting to talk, Luckily, Millie's head is full of floating pink ballerinas and dancing is all she wants to do, Daisy is sure she hasn’t noticed anything different about Daddy. One night, at their close friend Connie’s party everything comes to a head and their comfortable happy world explodes. At the party Daisy finds Simon in the front garden drinking with an old university acquaintance called Darryl, Daryl has been working abroad for a few years so they haven’t seen each other, but he is his usual charming, confident and flirty self. I immediately sensed Daisy’s mood change around this man. She becomes quiet, almost passive, and tries to avoid his conversation. She doesn’t want him near Simon. Simon is so drunk that he stumbles in the hall and breaks a beautiful antique lamp which is one of the host’s family heirlooms. In the chaos that follows Daisy takes the opportunity to leave. Simon is antagonistic and Daisy is baffled. She doesn’t know what, apart from the drink, is causing his mood. She’s grateful that Millie is staying across the road with a friend for a sleepover so she can get Simon to bed without her seeing. When they stop at a garage, Simon becomes more agitated and begins to question Millie’s parentage. He keeps talking about her being blonde and seems convinced her real father must be their friend Luke. Daisy is horrified when he pulls the keys out of her hands and insists on driving. She eventually acquiesces knowing they are only minutes from home, but as they turn into their street distracted by their argument and the loud dance track Simon has chosen on the stereo, they don’t see the little figure in the road until it’s too late.
The second half of the book, which moves much quicker, is set three years later and we see where everybody is now, after the events of that fateful night. The repercussions of that night have rippled out to friends and family so everyone is affected in some way. This is where more twists and turns are revealed very cleverly. Although I thought I had the answer to one of the questions brought up, Millie’s parentage, I was sure I had it worked out but a final page twist turned that on its head. There was another huge twist that made me go back to the original night and reread the account of that car journey. The pace kept me reading on, unable to put the book away until everything is resolved. I also liked that our main protagonists aren’t perfect. We see Simon’s weaknesses front and centre but Daisy is more of a closed book and it takes a long time to see her true character. One friend describes her as judgy and passive-aggressive. I did find myself annoyed with her at times, when I was so desperate for her to say something and help herself! I find her passivity, particularly where Daryll is concerned very frustrating too although I do understand it more by the end of the novel. More than once Parks describes her words as pious and this is how she comes across. I loved the way that One character, Lucy, comes unexpectedly to the fore towards the end of the book, surprising Daisy and teaching her a lesson. Lucy was friends with Daisy, her sister Rose, and classmate Connie at university but has fallen out of favour more recently, particularly with Daisy who has held a grudge for fifteen years. Lucy had an affair with Rose’s first husband Peter and even though everyone else has moved on and accepted they’re a couple,( even Rose) Daisy still sees Lucy as a home wrecker. So she is surprised that it is Lucy who forces her to accept help when she really needs it, supporting both Daisy and Simon as each tries to pick up the pieces of their lives. Help often comes from the most unexpected of places and I like that Daisy has to question her assumptions and prejudice.
This is again a book I can’t go into more detail on, because I don’t want to ruin all the twists. Suffice to say that after a quiet start the story really does grab hold of you and beg to be finished in one sitting. The novel asks questions about our relationships and what we are able to forgive and move on. When Lucy asks if Daisy and Simon can resume their relationship and forgive, Daisy replies ‘but he’s an alcoholic’. Quick as a flash Lucy replies ‘people love alcoholics’. It’s a lesson in how we love, despite each other’s imperfections. That love can have the power to heal even the worst wounds. It asks us to consider parental love too and how far we would go to protect our children. When Simon finds out that Millie can’t be his biological daughter, his mind is catapulted back to the day she is born and the following days as Daisy seems to develop post-natal depression and he is Millie’s primary care giver. He describes holding her and the smell of clean, warm baby intoxicating him. It’s a love like no other, he remembers, somehow more pure than any other love and without conditions. It’s this love that makes Simon her father, whatever biology has to say. This was a thrilling, addictive read with something meaningful to say about our human connections. More than that, it shows how one lie leads to another until you’re caught in a web that’s impossible to escape.
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